You know what cracks me up? Whenever someone’s like, “Dude, my church is like nothing you’ve ever seen before.” and then goes on to describe any church you’ve ever been to. And you’re standing there like, “Yeah, dude. Yes, that’s awesome. Cool.” Look, when it comes down to it, there’s basically three types of churches: The traditional ones, the ones trying really hard not to be traditional, and then the megachurches that are too busy counting their tithes to care. So first you have the traditional churches which are super legalistic and very judgemental. Democrats are not welcomed at these churches. I mean, who uses church hymnbooks anymore anyway? There’s no flashy lights or worship leader to come and tell me if God’s moving this morning. How am I supposed to know how to feel? It’s confusing. And then there’s the anti-traditional churches which is composed of a bunch of people that are mad at their parents for taking them to the traditional church, so then they made their own church! This is the Come As You Are, And Never Change crowd. Why stop sinning, when He keeps forgiving? I got some freedom in Christ, baby! And then, finally, the megachurches. With their coffee shops, gift shops, turned-over tables, But even though there’s three types of churches, they all have common traits. Like the pastors that always want everybody to stand up and say hello to everybody around them. And you’re like, “What’s this filth? I don’t want to talk to these people!” “I chose a big church for a reason!” If those very brief moments before the worship music starts is the only time you talk to your neighbor, you’re doing something wrong. And speaking of worship, is it weird to anybody else that they equate worshiping God with music? “It’s time to start worship!” or “Let’s worship God!” Like, worship is something you can turn on and off like a switch! Worship to God isn’t something that you go to. It’s something you are. Scheduling worship time from 9:00 – 9:30 makes just as much sense as saying that you’re going to make time for breathing. And what about those people that pray and they say “Lord God” or “Father God” every two seconds? And that, Father God, you would-you’d also, Father God, bless us, Lord God, and that you would teach us, Father God, all of your Father God ways. Father God. WHAT?! Why do you do that?! Do you think that God forgets His name? Or are you trying to keep his attention? How strange would it sound if we talked to each other that way? So Jen. You’ll never believe it, Jen. I was playing Halo, Jen, and I got 15 kills, Jen, in a row, and you know what that’s called, Jen? It’s called a perfection. And another thing that annoys me is when churches think that people can only come to Jesus when soft music is playing in the background. Hey guys. We have an awesome service today with the relevant word. You know, I don’t know what you came here expecting, but, we’re here to meet you on your journey. We’re going to get you guys to the next level. We’re going to raise up a new generation. We’re going to get you “plugged in”. No matter what season of life you find yourself in, what if this morning, what if we all got outside our comfort zones? What if we all stood and came up to the front? Come on, everybody, come on. And for all of our viewers watching at home, come on closer to the computer screen, come on. Clap your- come on. Can I get a Hallelujah? Come on! Come on, amen. Can you imagine if Jesus needed the same affirmation that these church leaders need? So guys! That sermon on the mountain I just gave here a minute ago. Pretty great, huh? Come on, put your hands together! Anything! I’m Jesus! Can I even get an amen? Nothing?! You guys are killing me.