Messy Mondays: The Three Types of Churches


You know what cracks me up? Whenever someone’s like, “Dude, my church is like nothing you’ve ever seen before.” and then goes on to describe any church you’ve ever been to. And you’re standing there like, “Yeah, dude. Yes, that’s awesome. Cool.” Look, when it comes down to it, there’s basically three types of churches: The traditional ones, the ones trying really hard not to be traditional, and then the megachurches that are too busy counting their tithes to care. So first you have the traditional churches which are super legalistic and very judgemental. Democrats are not welcomed at these churches. I mean, who uses church hymnbooks anymore anyway? There’s no flashy lights or worship leader to come and tell me if God’s moving this morning. How am I supposed to know how to feel? It’s confusing. And then there’s the anti-traditional churches which is composed of a bunch of people that are mad at their parents for taking them to the traditional church, so then they made their own church! This is the Come As You Are, And Never Change crowd. Why stop sinning, when He keeps forgiving? I got some freedom in Christ, baby! And then, finally, the megachurches. With their coffee shops, gift shops, turned-over tables, But even though there’s three types of churches, they all have common traits. Like the pastors that always want everybody to stand up and say hello to everybody around them. And you’re like, “What’s this filth? I don’t want to talk to these people!” “I chose a big church for a reason!” If those very brief moments before the worship music starts is the only time you talk to your neighbor, you’re doing something wrong. And speaking of worship, is it weird to anybody else that they equate worshiping God with music? “It’s time to start worship!” or “Let’s worship God!” Like, worship is something you can turn on and off like a switch! Worship to God isn’t something that you go to. It’s something you are. Scheduling worship time from 9:00 – 9:30 makes just as much sense as saying that you’re going to make time for breathing. And what about those people that pray and they say “Lord God” or “Father God” every two seconds? And that, Father God, you would-you’d also, Father God, bless us, Lord God, and that you would teach us, Father God, all of your Father God ways. Father God. WHAT?! Why do you do that?! Do you think that God forgets His name? Or are you trying to keep his attention? How strange would it sound if we talked to each other that way? So Jen. You’ll never believe it, Jen. I was playing Halo, Jen, and I got 15 kills, Jen, in a row, and you know what that’s called, Jen? It’s called a perfection. And another thing that annoys me is when churches think that people can only come to Jesus when soft music is playing in the background. Hey guys. We have an awesome service today with the relevant word. You know, I don’t know what you came here expecting, but, we’re here to meet you on your journey. We’re going to get you guys to the next level. We’re going to raise up a new generation. We’re going to get you “plugged in”. No matter what season of life you find yourself in, what if this morning, what if we all got outside our comfort zones? What if we all stood and came up to the front? Come on, everybody, come on. And for all of our viewers watching at home, come on closer to the computer screen, come on. Clap your- come on. Can I get a Hallelujah? Come on! Come on, amen. Can you imagine if Jesus needed the same affirmation that these church leaders need? So guys! That sermon on the mountain I just gave here a minute ago. Pretty great, huh? Come on, put your hands together! Anything! I’m Jesus! Can I even get an amen? Nothing?! You guys are killing me.

100 thoughts on “Messy Mondays: The Three Types of Churches”

  1. Why do you argue online?! So you don't have to debate in real life? Because only a coward would only debate online instead of real life.like why do you think you're going to change any body's mind? Count every online debate you have had, and when you're done, count how many people's minds you have changed.what was the answer? Don't tell me, I allready know. Its ZERO. And if I'm wrong, you debated with a 3 year old. Seriously,NO ONE CARES ABOUT WERE YOU GO ON SUNDAY! YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE ANYONE'S MIND!so Johann guchte,and Benjamin wood,STOP ARGUING AND GO FINISH FILLING YOU'RE SELF UP WITH YOU'RE GRAPE JUICE AND BREAD AKA,"GOD'S REAL BODY AND BLOOD."laughs stupidly because it sounds ridiculously wierd*BOTH OF YOU,SSHHHHHUUUTTTTUUUPPPPP!!OR SO HELP ME,I'M GOING TO THROW UP AN OCEAN OF BARF!!

  2. The video is right to identify that a big problem has arisen from the new ideas of "worship". The church is the people, not the event. Gladly there is a fourth type of church meeting – the edification gatherings on the first-day of the week for building up faith through the reading and preaching of the Scriptures and participation in the Lord's Supper.

  3. When you go to a Church that is actually nothing like these Churches. It isn't a Megachurch, it's certainly not anti-tradition, but it certainly isn't completely traditional.

  4. As a Catholic I can't really relate to any of this (maybe the strict one except I live in a pretty much exclusively democrat part of the country). Anyway the mere existence of megachurches baffles and slightly terrifies me. I would like to visit one some day out of sheer curiosity.

  5. I'm a Christian that doesn't go to church. Why? I believe going to church isn't necessary to live a life for Christ which is what being a Christian is about.

  6. I don't know, but our church isn't like any of those. And repeating His name may be someone's way to worship….

  7. he forgot two churches: the African churches where they try to sing but they can't and the dong goes on for like fifteen minutes and its in a small building where you can hear EVERYTHING. AND THE BLACK CHURCHES THAT RUN ON FOR THREE HOURS

  8. "Lord God…Lord God…Father God…" I flinched every time this was said. This drives me nuts. Like, WAAAAY more than it should.

  9. I go to a traditional church and it's not confusing it actually makes more sense then the mega churches cuz I went to one

  10. He explained my church, starting at the part with the pastor wanting everyone to say hi. legit everything after that point is my church😂😂

  11. Hilarious videos! I really appreciate how you are spreading your faith through YouTube 🙂 Are you guys Catholic Christians?

  12. While praying the women always say just "we just want to just be justly just just" men always say father "father, we love you father just just father father just just." Then when they're done they squeeze your hand "squeeze"

  13. Don't you just love the non sensical 30 seconds of forced phelio love we have for one another which is mostly used as a buffer for the person making the announcements to get up to the pulpit?

  14. My church: basically an anti-traditional church that's not too crazy on the idea of being anti-traditional. We're open-minded to the people we let in. I mean, how are people going to come to Christ if you don't let EVERYONE in? We, of course, recognize that we shouldn't try to keep sinning, rather try harder not to. We're going to do it anyway, but it's like keeping yourself healthy, even though your body's going to be wasted away to nothing in the end.

  15. I have been to so many different denominations within Christianity. I dont focus so much on that anymore, I feel like the most important thing in picking a church to go to is the way the Bible is taught. Is the church teaching from the Bible and in a scriptural correct way. I dont claim to be any denomination- im just a Christ follower who desires to live like Him.

  16. When you're Catholic and you attend your grandparents baptist church and are shocked by all of the technology used and random shouting of AMEN!

  17. Without proper guidance and admonition from those in your church family who are spiritual and mature growth may be prevented by the the deceitfulness of sin and a desire for other things. Christian people are to make judgments not to condemnation but are to make judgments because someday we will judge the world including angels as the Apostle Paul teaches. Again in your ignorance along with other people like your ministry who do these mockeries of Christians and sacred things are doing damage to the church. If there is anything that a church is doing that is foolish or inappropriate this is a matter of the church leadership and needs to be discussed privately not to bring mockery to the public world of the church for any type of disobedience in the church whether it come from leadership or lay people these types of reproaches need to be in private so that the outside of the world does not have fuel two ridicule us. Your attitude is sanctimonious and this is from a haughty spirit. Consider some scripture reading this week perhaps the Holy Spirit will illuminate your heart. I am inserting a scripture for you to think over. Grace to you.

    I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. "Purge the evil person from among you."
    1 Corinthians 5:9‭-‬13 ESV
    http://bible.com/59/1co.5.9-13.ESV

    Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load.
    Galatians 6:1‭-‬5 ESV
    http://bible.com/59/gal.6.1-5.ESV

  18. Repeating "Father God" is honestly a way to fill in your blank spots of your prayer. For example, Father God bless us and draws a blank adds a Father God to save time.😂

  19. I've been to all three, but the megachurch I went to felt more like a dinner and a show theater. I usually go to hippie churches with garage bands usually holding service in a small warehouse.

  20. This is pretty offensive, the fact that you call yourself a Christian and yet rip on other Christians and their churches. You act like you can categorize people and their spiritual beliefs based on their church. Now I really like most of your videos but this one seems to take it too far to the point of being heretical and making fun of Christians. Would you be proud to show this video to your church and then tell them which one they are?

  21. I felt alone. There must be many of us. Thank you. Oh no, did i just write the opening of a worship song starting on the minot 6th?

  22. Well, I mean, what else are they going to play? You think someone’s going to want to come to Jesus with punk rock or country playing in the background?

  23. I like going to a "Mega-church". First, my church has great preaching (Tim Hawkins would say that means the music is bad but it's not). I'm an introvert and so I wouldn't like going to a small church where everyone knows me but I also like all the programs they offer (I'm in the choir).

  24. I'm kind of at the congregation that's mad at the uber-conservative church so they started their own and now some act like babies just to not be mom and dad. Though, the worship service is great!!

  25. My church is smallish and full of old people (but they're COOL old people with open minds) and the youth group is dope. We were eating ice cream in the youth room before small groups and then our youth minister said: awww why are you eating ice cream? "We were gonna go to Wendy's for frostys instead of our lesson today. . ." He took us anyway.

  26. My church is a combination of traditional (one service traditional), Non traditional(two services contemporary), and a mega church (we have a lot of events that go on and a coffee shop)

  27. My Church doesn't fit into any of these stereotypes.

    HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO UNDERSTAND MY LIFE!?!?!?!?

  28. My church is a church that is stick between being traditional but the young people want modern, and the old people try to be hip and cool but end up just getting us farther from everybody’s goal.

  29. Well i believe that there is regulations given in the bible that we Christians follows. But we do those laws because we love Jesus and want him to be happy, not because "we need to do sequences of christian laws bcs we're christians"

    we can't lie bcs we're christian, i can't curse that person who did wrong to me bcs I'm a christian, what will the other christians think about me if i do those things

    Sometimes we are here as a community to remind each other to love God more, to obey His commandments. But obeying his commendment is not just series of laws that needed to be followed, it's our actions showing that we love Him therefore we want to make Him happy by obeying His commandments. God loves u alk happy Sundayy ❤💕

  30. You know mosques are kinda the same. It's funny I can relate as a muslim. But most of the time we are told we should be wary of the afterlife and lots of details regarding Islam are explained.

  31. "You can only worship with soft music"

    When STORMS OF LIFE
    are 'round me, BEATING,
    WHEN ROUGH THE PATH
    that I have trod….
    – Alone With God (one of our prayer hymns) starts just like that, and the music is a bit marchy, yet we use that soooo

  32. Congratulations! You might have found thousands of places where God is not. Millions going in the wrong direction, but is that all you want? Jesus prophesied about the last days: They will be saying "Here is Jesus! No, he is over here!" and that we shouldn't believe them. Anti-Christians, false doctrine and so on. You can just sit back and laugh at the blind people.
    Or maybe, just maybe you could seek God with all your heart and find the treasure everybody needs so much?

  33. There is a 4th kind of church, My church. where every one is cool and friends and good people, its small and just… Just…. YAS!

  34. So my church is kinda like a mega church and a non traditional church we are big and had 5 campuses but now we have three. We go to the main one. We have a coffee shop a book store and a play ground 😅 the youth groups (teen groups) are like “come as you are, no need to dress up. God will forgive your sins but just because he forgives your sins doesnt mean there’s no consequences” kinda thing. To be honest. the building used to be a Home Depot. 😅

  35. 1:05 Mom and I once went to a church where there was no meet-and-greet. And everyone basically sat down, faced forward, and waited for the sermon to start. No chatting, interacting with each other. We were new, and didn't even get greeted until AFTER service ended. And it was only a few people that spoke to us. Service itself, by the way, felt more like being preached at instead of preached to. Needless to say, we decided that church wasn't right for us.
    2:22 Hey, another church we tried had a part towards the end of service where you could come up to pray or talk to the pastor. It involves soft music, which is sometimes distracting when there's singing and the pastor talking at the same time.

  36. I think usually when some people say "Father God" so many times when they're praying is because they don't know exactly what to say and are trying not to make awkward silence and saying something like "Father God" gives them a little more time to think about what they're gonna say next.

  37. The repetition of Father Go, while it may have sounded like an exaggeration, was in fact perfectly accurate to some people's prayers. I wonder if it has anything to do with the usage of placeholder syllables such as um and like.

  38. 4th type of church is the Mormon church. Aka The church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints which in my opinion is the true church you should try it out.

  39. There is truth to your video, but your blatant (and loud) sarcasm detract from what otherwise would be important Church issues. Maybe it's your age or your attempt to be hip for Youtube ratings – but you might try a less caustic approach and settle for a mixture of Truth and Grace (which only God can provide).

  40. did anyone else the reference when he said "turned over tables" that was an amazing Bible joke to add in there!

  41. "And that Father God you would also Father God bless us Lord God, and that you would teach us Father God all of your Father God ways, Father God."😂

  42. My favorite aspect about you and your channel is that you’re never afraid to say it like is, even if you’re criticizing members of your family own faith. The world needs more people like you guys.

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