Finding Strength in the Midst of Disappointment – Lysa TerKeurst Part 1

I was spinning I don’t even know it’s
like I couldn’t I couldn’t even gather up my thoughts I felt like my thoughts
spun out of my head in a million different directions and nobody teaches
you how to handle that moment welcome to the focus on the family
broadcast helping families thrive John we all know what it feels like to
be disappointed if you are going through that kind of deep disappointment today
we want to come alongside you with some help some healing and some perspective
from a biblical standpoint in fact there’s a verse I want to quote here
Psalm 34:18 the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed
and spirit if that’s you today this program is for you Lisa welcome back to
focus it’s great to see you thank you it’s an honor to be with you guys let’s
um let’s move this direction you wrote this book from a very messy place over
the last few years it’s very vulnerable which I applaud it’s so hard for us in
Christian life and in Christian leadership particularly to be vulnerable
but you’ve done it why I guess is the question did you feel it would be
important to write about this season of your life so openly what compelled you
to move that direction well I think one of the reasons is certainly that the
Lord just really strongly led my heart that way but another reason is when I
was drowning in my own sorrow I really didn’t feel like I had anyone to go to
that could really understand my circumstance and that was really hard
because I I’ve always been a person of deep connections and deep relationships
so but I was in a very unique situation not unique in in in what was happening
in my marriage but unique in the fact that I didn’t know exactly how to handle
being the president of Proverbs 31 ministries being a mom of three kids
three adult kids that were getting married that your five kids total but
three of my kids were getting married in 2016 when everything was unraveling and
I just didn’t know how to navigate everything and it was very hard and I
felt very very alone and one promise I’ve always made to myself
is when I’ve gone through something hard or something that seemed like wow this
could be so much better if I just had a few other people who have been there
done that who could help me along I’ve always promised myself I would help
those people coming behind me I did that with writing books and to this day I
hold conferences and and I have lots of material out there to help people who
are interested in being in ministry speaking and writing so it fits my
natural ministry flow I love helping people come behind me I just never
thought this would be one of the ways I would help you and we’re gonna move into
that but let me let me take a higher 40,000 foot view of disappointment in
the human condition why do we set up expectations the way we do as older
maybe mature Christians and we still don’t learn how to manage disappointment
why is that why don’t we have a more mature attitude about things going
differently from our expectations well because I think we all set our
expectations and then we have an experience and the experience doesn’t
live up to the expectation and so the natural feeling that emerges is
disappointment where this gets complicated is I think often in
Christian circles we’re told you know when you’re
Christian don’t be disappointed you know like pray another Bible verse
or you know always say yeah consider it pure joy you know and so
oftentimes we’re told not to feel disappointment and so we just kind of
push it aside and and push it down and put a happy bumper sticker on it and
keep on trucking down the road but the the problem is that disappointment is
the exact gateway where I think the enemy loves to come in and and start to
really create an opportunity for temptation for people huh because the
human heart does not take kindly to feel in constant disappointment at some point
we’re either going to numb that pain or we’re going to have to deal with the
pain if we never understand how to deal with the pain will never understand how
to heal the pain right and there’s a lot there in terms of justifying your
actions that lead you down a really bad path Lisa let’s get into the specific
pain that you have gone through your husband came to you a few years ago and
said what well I wish that the story would have been that my husband came to
me and admitted what was happening but that’s not what that’s not what happened
I discovered it and I immediately felt like my world was imploding in a way
that I never ever ever thought that it would I never thought this would be my
story and so basically I found out that that he’d been having some struggles
with some addictions I found out that first and and then felt like maybe that
explained away some of the behavior that that I was discerning wasn’t right I
have a very discerning spirit the problem is that just because you have
discernment discernment doesn’t give you details and so that’s where a lot of
people live if they’re in close community with someone and they’re
feeling like something isn’t right they’re discerning something is right
but they can’t figure out the details and that is a really difficult place to
live so that’s where I lived for a long time suspicions yeah yes suspicions but
not wanting to be suspicious so then it goes from feeling suspicious to feeling
like well I’m the crazy one you know because you can only go to someone so
many times and say hey I’m just not feeling right about this or this or this
and you know if if you’re discerning something’s not right but then you’re
told everything is right it starts to mess with your head and really make you
feel like you’re the crazy one so there was about a year where I felt like I am
seriously crazy and I was trying to do everything I could to go before the Lord
and really ask the Lord to help me fix whatever wherever I was off emotionally
and spiritually it’s not unusual and often you know here as we’ve talked to
various guess have an incredible aptitude to look at
themselves first I mean it’s a god-given thing I think men we struggle with that
because our egos might be in the way but women will often say okay we’re what
have I done where have I blown it am I wrong I can imagine all the questions
running through your head of course this is art your husband involved in an
affair and I mean you had to be swirling about what that means so how did your
you know kind of your concerns come to light what did take place if he didn’t
come and talk to you what what happened that confirmed those concerns well it
was a it was kind of a slow unfolding it’s like you know I found one thing and
then I found another thing and and all the while this is the other thing that
gets really complicated in this as a Christian wife you know it’s very
complicated when you want to be so deeply respectful of your husband and so
that was a hard line for me to cross even going to him to confront or to even
say harsh things to him or to to try to bring this to light it was just a
complicated thing all the way around and so it was a slow unfolding but finally I
I went to him and I said I know something’s going on
and and I had a little bit of proof and I gave it to him and finally at that
point he said yes that you know that what I suspected was true he was having
an affair and and I was I was spinning I don’t even know it’s like I couldn’t I
couldn’t even gather up my thoughts I felt like my thoughts spun out of my
head in a million different directions and nobody teaches you how to handle
that moment let me ask you this and I again I so appreciate your openness and
vulnerability and in many ways you’ve written the book it’s out there
of course being the founder of proverbs 31 you know this is hard stuff so right
there I just appreciate your heart the fact is many couples suffer through
something like this I mean this is a betrayal of trust etc describe that
feeling of where you’re at when it was confirmed when art either nodded yes or
somehow confirmed that suspicion what went through your heart I mean that that
betrayal I can only imagine so what was that like and what were your words like
afterward and well it was it was the worst moment of my entire life
I I’ve been hurt a lot in my life but nothing like that
it’s the deepest it is it’s the it’s the deepest shock and pain that you could
ever experience and I always had this script in my mind you know oftentimes
girlfriends will even joke with each other if I ever found out my husband was
doing that here’s exactly what I would say here’s exactly what I would do I had
a script in my mind you know of what I would say and what I was do what I would
do but the Lord was so gracious to me and you know when really when the Lord
encourages us to pursue him it’s in a daily way and so the Lord really does
want us to spend time with him every day and I think sometimes it’s because we
think it’s because it’s part of the good Christian checklist to do but the
reality is the Lord sees what’s coming and he is so compassionate that he wants
to fully prepare us now sometimes we don’t slow and slow down enough for his
preparation but boy our life would be a lot better if we did I’m so thankful
that in January of 2016 before I found out what was happening I did a fast it
was supposed to be a 21-day fast and I was praying but on day 21
I said well Lord I really haven’t gotten a revelation but this has been a really
sweet time of connecting with you with more intentionality every
day throughout my day and so now I’m going to go to the movies not popcorn
and I’m just really excited about my popcorn at the movies you know and the
Lord said no seven more days Lisa and I want you to pray only about your
marriage for seven more days and I was so confused so on day 28 the I I went
before the Lord and I said okay Lord now it’s day 28 and this isn’t an audible
voice that I’m hearing but it’s this deep impression I know when the Lord
speaking to me and on day 28 the Lord said something and I have clung to this
the Lord said to me I’m about to reveal exactly what’s happening but you have to
make me two promises on this day to prepare you for that day and the two
promises is number one you’ll trust my timing because the timing will not make
sense to you and number two that you will absolutely commit to me that you
will love your husband and I said well of course Lord I love my husband like
and I so and there was about between that time and when I found out it was
about two and a half weeks and I during that two and a half weeks I thought of a
million different things that it could be but this was not the way that the
story unfolded was never part of what I thought but the minute that are finally
admitted to me what was going on I remembered that that moment two and a
half weeks ago where the Lord had already prepared me to not react out of
my flesh my flesh would have said a lot of crazy things in that moment and
probably been justified in doing so but I remember what the Lord said and so my
first words to my husband in that moment is this isn’t who you are
this isn’t who you are and this isn’t who you are he was shocked because he
also had a script in in his mind of all the crazy things I would do and say if I
ever found out and the script of it’s you know this isn’t who you are
it stopped him in his trying to derailed his plan or his thoughts you know Lisa
I’m thinking as you’re describing this and you know with that emotion
that you had a moment ago think of in the Lord speaking to your heart which is
so beautiful and then his analogies of him being the bridegroom and the church
being his bride and him communicating to your heart about continuing to love your
husband through this it’s coming from his own experience as our Lord and
Savior this is the way we are we betray we’re disloyal because of our sin nature
that has to be in some way such a beautiful connection for you to say okay
Lord this must be when you had tears in your eyes think of the Lord’s pain about
his betrayal think of the Lord’s pain about our betrayal toward him in our
walk with Him when we do things that we know displeases him whatever that might
be it can be light it can be heavy mm-hmm and that connection you must have
had how do you guys heart oh yeah I’ve gone to mark chapter 14 more times than
what I can even tell you I can’t I can’t even tell you the number of times I’ve
gone to mark chapter 14 but it’s when Jesus is in the Garden of Gethsemane and
and he is praying to the Father asking God to change the story let this cup
pass let this cup pass from me and what’s interesting is just before he
withdraws from the disciples he tells the disciples stay here and keep watch
and I always thought that was stay here and watch for the detachment of soldiers
that I know is coming so that you don’t get caught off guard so I don’t get
caught off guard but then it occurred to me Jesus already knew he could see he’s
he’s omnipresent so he could see that soldiers coming he wasn’t going to get
caught off guard so I wonder if maybe that sentence has a little bit of a
double meaning like stay here and watch because the soldiers are coming but even
more importantly stay here and watch me how I go through this moment of my
deepest hurt and sorrow yeah my deepest fear and then the scripture right after
that when Jesus says stay here and keep watch right after that it says going
just a little farther just a little farther so the disciples could still see
him and that’s when he says you know to the Lord take this cup from
me let’s change the plan I don’t want this to be my story and boy have I said
that so many times but I love the way that he ends that that time with the
Lord 9 earth-shaking hell shattering demon quaking words yet not what I will
but what you will and that to me has been the prayer that I have often gone
before the Lord because Jim as I sit here today I don’t want this to be my
story I don’t yeah I woke up this morning knowing I was coming to do this
interview and I thought I don’t want this to be the subject matter this this
wasn’t it really it wasn’t supposed to be this way um but I know I know that
God has a good plan in the midst of it even if I can’t see the good or feel the
good as I’m walking to it and through it I know so I’ve I’ve had to pray that
prayer yet Lord hears all my suggestions here’s all my angst of fighting against
this reality yet not what I will but what you will and that moment that Jesus
had in the Garden of Gethsemane has been so profound for me you have felt it yes
I mean that deep betrayal and Lee said there are other aspects to the story
that we’re going to continue to unfold it just wasn’t this story that occurred
in your life yet at the end of the program here to kind of help people with
this particular issue of infidelity it’s not just husbands that have affairs
women have affairs to get that but but speak to that person that may be fearful
where you were prior to arts discussion with you and how that unfolded speak to
that issue of fear this is the one area where the Lord says you you you have a
card that will allow you out of this relationship adultery it’s biblical to
divorce for those green yet he still says I hate divorce
reconcile that in the last few minutes here for the couple that either is now
going through it both of them know what had happened or the the spouse who is
suspicious something might be going on what is that way to handle this in a way
that does honor the Lord which I think you and art are doing mm-hmm
it’s the tough stuff of trying to mend this back together but but speak to the
listener who is going Lisa I feel that I am with you I know what you’re talking
about well first of all I want to be very careful to say not every suspicion
that you have is going to come to fruition in the same way it did with my
story however every discernment that you’re having that something’s not right
needs to be attended to and it may be that you’re having disarmament because
something has not yet happened or maybe you’re having discernment because it’s
like that check engine light it’s time to go to a counselor and just get some
help or it’s time to get in a small group at your church or get more
intention about bonding together as a couple so not every suspicion comes to
fruition and the way it did with my story but every suspicion is like a
check engine light coming on that something needs to be attended to so I
just want to say that for the wife or the husband that has discovered that
there is something profoundly wrong in the relationship whether it’s an affair
or an addiction or anytime your spouse is keeping secrets from you and there’s
there’s other betrayal besides just you know physical infidelity but when a
betrayal has occurred you’ve got to get other people involved
you can’t just the two of you sweep this under the rug and and pretend like well
we’ll just keep marching and hope that everything gets okay eventually because
it’s got to be attended to Lisa before we leave today and hopefully we can pick
this up tomorrow and continue the discussion in the midst of watching your
five year marriage crumble and what you and art we’re facing in this moment you
experienced some physical pain in your family you ended up in ER which unfolds
the second chapter of your valley journey just tell us what took place
there and then we’ll pick it up next time well
my counselor kept saying Lisa we’ve got to find ways for you to process this
healthy and the counselor kept saying Lisa you’ve got to get the pain and the
anxiety you’ve got to get it out you got to process it because your body will
keep the score and my body did just about six months into this my colon the
right side of my colon ripped away from the abdominal wall it wrapped around the
other side of my colon it cut off the blood flow kind of twisted it did
twisted and the blood flow was completely cut off inside of me and I
kept crying out to God to please take away the pain but God did something even
more miraculous than that I mean this and it just keeps going and Lisa we’re
gonna do that we’re gonna speak to these issues so for the person that you know
maybe this is the greatest knife that could go through your heart of course
with infidelity it wasn’t the only thing and I want to ask you right from the
get-go how do you not become discouraged toward
God those disappointments that we set the program up with in the beginning get
deeper it’s like a swimming pool that just you’re at the bottom of the pool
and the pool is getting deeper and deeper and deeper and I you can’t
breathe that’s well physically in the other way that’s right well let me
clearly state I have gotten discouraged with God you know and so but I think one
thing that has helped me so much is to not just run away from God and shut off
God I’ve had to recognize there is my physical reality there’s what I see
right now but at the same time there’s what God is
doing and there’s always two layers to our story and if we run away from God
we’ll never even catch glimpses of the better story that God is right
despite the physical reality of what we’re seeing and so I’m thankful that I
continued to press into the Lord so that I can even seek glimpses enough to know
that there’s what I see and at the same time there’s what our good God is still
doing yeah someone recently mentioned to me God is always working for your good
Wow and it’s hard to feel that when you’re
in these kinds of situations I mean again the marital issues and then
physical issues stemming from that I’m sure the pressure and the the stress
Lisa thank you for this vulnerable discussion and I so deeply appreciate
your courage Lisa in part one of this discussion to tell us where you’ve come
from what God has done and you’re still together I want to make sure people hear
that and you’re fighting together for your marriage if you can let’s stay
together and and pick it up next time can we do that that sounds good all
right hey I’m John fuller and thanks for watching get more info about focus over
here and more from our guests over there and be sure to subscribe to our channel
as well

87 thoughts on “Finding Strength in the Midst of Disappointment – Lysa TerKeurst Part 1”

  1. 3minutes into this video, my tears were running ……The Lord knows exactly what and how he does things. Thank you focus on the family and thank you lysa for sharing your experience. Right now i am going through struggles and i chose to click on youtube and this video pop out of nowhere. I say it is all God. Thank you Jesus for your suffering. Thank you for demonstrating such victory over dissapointment. Jesus, you are worthy to be praise. Praise, the Lord. Jesus continue to strengthen me Amen.

  2. Wow! Heart breaking story but such strength and courage. I love her listening to the holy spirit and how she clings to the Lord. Just wow!

  3. The pain of what Lysa is going through shows on her face. I'm so sorry, Lysa. I'll pray for you. Thank you for sharing your story. Many of us will be helped by remembering your words.

  4. Lysa – my story is too long to share but thank you thank you and thank God for your vulnerability and your courage.

  5. First, I need to say, that the interviewer infers that God sins?? This is so untrue God created us in His image and man has a freedom to choose… If I as a Strong Faithโ€™d Christian Woman having known the Ten Commandments an than commits the violation… can I then say โ€œwhy Lord did you allow me to continue to do what I knew better to violate the commandment.. No God is not a man that He would lie… Jesus was without any sin or blemish… a lamb led to slaughter… God is Good. We make daily choices.. Be careful with our WORDS.. Remember Job… Be encouraged Lisa, my dear sister in Christ.. I have also went thru many trials as well however, now I can discern the antichrist spirit and can assist others who may be going thru what I had went thru. God Bless You today. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป๐Ÿ”‘๐Ÿž๐Ÿ™‡๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

  6. I came across an online Christianity Today article last year wherein the author made the point she had gone through a divorce due to her husband's unfaithfulness, and could also honestly declare, "I hate divorce." She realized that is the heart and intent of God's words: I hate divorce. He hates it because it's painful, it's painful to make the decision to divorce. It clearly is not a sin to divorce in and of itself, since God defines himself as divorcing. And we know God cannot sin. So, obviously, our Christian culture has misapplied scripture…yet again. Perhaps we need to stop focusing on the percentage of Christians who divorce, but rather the percentage of Christians who are engaging in pornography, adultery, immortality, abusive behavior, and other addictions…..all those things that have caused divorce. That's what God hates, as in "hates" because they are sin. It's time to spread the truth as to what God meant when he said, I hate divorce.

  7. Thank you Lysa for being vulnerable, I pray that the Lord will restore you and your family โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ I love that you are being Real!!!

  8. I am glad Lysa is speaking out. No one wants this story, but God will use the message to heal others and even her.

    The body of Christ is hurting. Infidelity and pornography are rampant in the church, but most refuse to acknowledge the issues. We HAVE to talk about these issues. Fact: we are ALL broken sinners in great need of grace and forgiveness. Truth: Jesus saves and delivers. Need: The church to love each other as Christ loves us. Betrayed women (and even men) need to be loved by fellow believers and allowed to heal from the trauma.

  9. I didn't want this to by my story either, yet here we are. Blessings on you for sharing your story, Lysa. It often feels like I'm the only one. God is so good.

  10. God Bless you Lysa .. you are an amazing spirit filled woman. Thank you for sharing. . You have a great way of connecting. God bless.

  11. Lysa you are the most realest person I have ever heard. You truly are a light to this dark world because of Christ in you. Will continue to pray for your marriage for the lord to continue to work his marvellous hands up on you guys.

  12. Thank you so much for sharing so deeply. I've been in that moment of discovering infidelity and my maturity level as a person and as a Christian was not the best all those many years ago. Your example of living so closely to the Lord is felt in my heart. I think the length of the journey is what wears us out and finding strength when we feel like giving up is critical. You are a wonderful, godly woman whom God is using in so many ways and I'm genuinely grateful for your courageous heart.

  13. โ€œGod is always working for your good.โ€
    Lysa, thank you for sharing.

    Seeing from the side, doesnโ€™t see the whole picture, as our Father sees from above, has been helping me tremendously. After living beyond my mother being murdered and other crushing blows, Iโ€™ve realized that God is painting a most beautiful picture. Dark colors help us to focus our eyes on Jesus. life. New pulverizing disappointments keep me to my knees & it never fails, God is sooooo good. Finally, after getting the courage to marry into my midlife years, (which broke almost immediately, from infidelities,) I learned the meaning of the Bride of Christ. I would have never deeply learned it without those experiences. The process of purification is with these experiences. Just think, I thought I knew, however, I didnโ€™t really know, as my dadโ€™s sentence to die by way of electrocution & then changed to life. Infidelity has logarithmically pointed me it turned my full attention to God. Our convictions are made in the difficult times, not when life is easier. Nothing matters except our eternal salvation. Forgiveness, with love completely, allows us to learn to please God. This thought has kept me through the years. It also helped me give care & let live with me for twenty years, to 5 mentally disabled siblings, who are not my family. Iโ€™m learning to appreciate these eternally difficult lessons.

  14. Betrayal is so painful. Am going through it now after 18 years with my husband, he deserted me in his home country, abused me, ridiculed and humiliated me and left me wondering in this place of nothingness. Itโ€™s so painful. For God, I would have committed suicide.

  15. Whew…so timely. Thank you for your vulnerability and heart to write your book. I canโ€™t wait to read it. ๐Ÿ’•

  16. Thank you for speaking….Iโ€™m in the midst of deep hurt right now….But l know God is with me…Many blessings woman of God…May God continue to strengthen you…๐Ÿ™

  17. Finally it's out there. The hurt of infidelity and broken vows has been shelved too long and I feel a bit of freedom and validation through Lysa's testimony. I wish the church could have given me that 21 years ago, but now I can finally breathe and say "YES, it is real and it matters." I can now relate to Lysa and believe her words. Now she has "been there" and we rally together as we look the Lord our Great Defender.

  18. Thank you Lysa, though He slay me yet will I trust in Him. Your courage is a reminder that God is with me too in my confusing space.

  19. Excellent video. I am very discouraged right now. Thank you so much, Lysa! This video is worth listening to, listening again, and again, and again, and . . . .

  20. It takes a lot of realizations as you forgive constantly. Betrayal is hurtful, too many mixed emotions. It's been 8 years or me & I'm still learning. God revealed a lot of things about me & my Christianity. By His grace I'm still learning to cope all by His grace.

  21. the point is she managed to get to the other side safely, at least in the case of her cancer, what happens if it looks like you will never get to the other side?

  22. When I first heard about what you were going through, felt connection, not because I understood what you were going through except for part about your marriage falling apart, but because you were in a leadership position. Who does the preacherโ€™s family or any family whoโ€™s family member in leadership in the church community go to for support?

  23. Betrayal is something I have not been able to get past. Itโ€™s more painful than anything Iโ€™ve ever experienced. I wish Iโ€™d heard more of her story.

  24. WOW! I can't believe that this video came up as a suggestion. I know exactly what she is saying. In my situation, I was believing God for His promise to restore my marriage (still believe). Went through 7 years of separation, infidelity, and then a divorce. I was not mad at God but I felt very disconnected from Him. I knew in my head all of the scripture but I was having trouble with my heart. Not mad at God (because He is always good and kind) just disconnected. Hard to explain…Like I was floating in life, not connected to God or the ground. Does anyone else relate?

  25. This video helped me SO much! Thankyou Lysa, for your courage to be vulnerable. I admire your sacrifice in doing this. God bless you!

  26. It shouldnโ€™t have been complicated to approach him. What he did was wrong. Screw the attitude that we have to cowtail to our husbands when they were wrong and be afraid we will not โ€œrespect themโ€ by calling them out on their disrespect to us

  27. And For Godsake If a friend goes through this donโ€™t tell her โ€œI canโ€™t wait to see what Godโ€™s going to do through you because of what your husband did.โ€ I about vomited when a friend said that to me and we barely speak now

  28. And For Godsake If a friend goes through this donโ€™t tell her โ€œI canโ€™t wait to see what Godโ€™s going to do through you because of what your husband did.โ€ I about vomited when a friend said that to me and we barely speak now

  29. I wish โ€œmy storyโ€ wasnโ€™t โ€œmy storyโ€ either. It has almost killed me at times. But God bless you…being a Christian influencer, you are now impacting the countless women who are surviving through the same nightmare.

  30. Ny heart breaks for you, and i have a similar story. I caught myself saying it wasn't supposed to be this way. I know too that God has a plan to make something right in this mess. I too knew for a year and asked him what's wrong, he denied. Then when everything came to light ( in a matter of 10 minutes) the life I believed was true was a lie. It was like someone threw a large hammer thru a huge mirror! Mine was drugs, embezzlement, no money, bills unpaid for month to a year,loss of home. Child who had a medical issue. And later finding out he had used 1 child as a drug mule and threatened to kill each member of his family and leaving his son alone on this earth. Sometimes he calms the storm and other times. He calms his child. Thank you for sharing. ( unfortunately he died. But forutnately he was saved)

  31. Lysa this is my Story; my sister Pat asked me to buy to read your book and I did and Thank Thank Thank you; God is with us and God will continue to Guide us in HIs Will to be DONE!….you have help me thru my pain….Love you Sandra Saldana

  32. I want to promote a personal prayer communication thst is ongoing. Surrender your life. All of it. Keep on going. Do not worry. I am here. Always. Don't worry. -Holy Spirit
    I don't think people understand that communication and listening doesn't stop. – Holy Father
    We need to be able to also continue to spend time with me. Don't put me off. I will do my will with you. – Holy Jesus

  33. I am so surprised Focus on the Family that you say adultery is a way out of marriage. That is not the correct interpretation of the Bible. The original word for adultery here was fornication which means something completely different than adultery. You are misleading so many with that teaching. Especially since we are to remain single or reconcile not remarry.

  34. Thanks Lysa for your testimony. But the counseling given is not biblical. There is no exception clause for divorceโ€”adultery is not grounds. Matthew 19:9 was written to the Jews and pertains to the engagement period for the Jews where they are considered already married. Unlike Gentiles/Greeks who were given Luke 16:18, Mark 10:1-10, Romans 7:2-3, etc. marriage is until death of a spouse per the teachings of Jesus and in the Genesis creation story of marriage. You cannot separate one flesh. Remarriage with a living spouse is adultery plain and simple. I am thankful that your marriage is restored. Our God is a covenant God and marriage is a three fold cord and covenant-not a contract like the world sees it today. As your testimony shows, God is a restorer of marriages. See FB marriage divorce remarriage adultery. You tube teachings of Dr. Joseph Webb on covenant marriage. Blessings.

  35. This was so helpful to me. Thank you for putting into words these feelings. I am reading uninvited now, thank you so much Lysa! โค๏ธ

  36. As Much as I love the podcast I enjoy even more the YT videos of Focus…makes me feel like I'm right there in the audience …Thank You Focus on the Family for this material..Blessings

  37. We love you Mrs Lisa ! You are a strong and Godly woman! Thanks for sharing your story and I pray the God will turn this hardship for the good ! God always has a good plan for us in the end ! ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป

  38. I donโ€™t want this story too but itโ€™s my story as well. ๐Ÿ˜ญ Thank you for sharing. โค๏ธ

  39. Disappointments is LIFE.and she is correct we must deal with our pain confront issues.Only then we have a testimony that gives Hope to others.

  40. Lord i feel her Pain- & Heartbreak. We all have some.I can say this would be so much more heartbreaking, i feel then watching my husband dying as he was crossing over to Heaven.His leaving me behind.Gods choice and time after 49 years together here in this life.If not for Knowing God as my hope,i could not have carried on for the last 32 months.This is inspiring and encouraging (God Kept this couple together),

  41. Thank you Lyss. That was me… Not wanting that to be my story, it is but let be part of my testimony. To God be the glory no matter how hard. Luv u to pieces.

  42. Oh i am delighted to see you here in youtube. I have your radio app that's where i am listening to your ur podcasts for so long. I am a Filipino living in Ireland. My husband and my son are in the Philippines. To have a long distance relationship /communication is not easy. Your program has been a blessing to me. God bless you richly.

  43. I remember the day the words, "God, I'm disappointed," came out of my mouth. I felt like it was a betrayal of my Christianity, my love for God. I felt like it was saying, "You lied to me." I was led to believe everything would work out and get fixed but it wasn't and it didn't. This is an important topic. #LisaTerKeurst, I'm reading your new book. Brava for bringing this kicking and screaming out into the light.

  44. Undeniably brave testimony! Your such a golden hearted strong woman๐Ÿ’› I'm just learning infidelity is grounds for divorce by biblical standards

  45. ๐Ÿ˜ข I went thru similar circumstances that also resulted in serious health consequences, but our Faithful Lord Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit and our ABBA, guided me, healed me and is continuing to heal me (it was14 years ago), and I have a WONDERFUL FAITHFUL husband now that I serve the Lord with. ๐Ÿ’‘

    Thank you for sharing your story because my stepdaughter is in need of the truth you bring out because she is getting to know Jesus and her marriage is "over" and I'm so grateful for your willingness to be an instrument of the Lord during such a vulnerable time/subject.


  46. Lysa, I am So Sorry, for What you Are and Have Been Going Through. Have Been There, Done That, as so many Have. We, Each one of us, Has a Story or Many, Stories To Tell. No One, Should Be Afraid or Ashamed, to Tell Their Story. It may Help someone else, in several Way's. At the time, people Feel, that They, are the Only one, that is Going-Through a Particular Situation. NOT !!! We just Have to Keep the Faith, Knowing, that GOD, Will Be With us, Every step of the way, and We Will Be OK. How can we Not ?

  47. I great full for the fact that you aren't ashamed to talk about something so painful. I too went through this in 2017 and my husband and I are still working through things together.

  48. This really held my attention including part 2 and I was amazed to hear lysa. I am in England and was able to share with someone going through the same thing – he happens to be male – but it really ministered to him…God bless Lysa and I pray for Art who, as Lysa says, clearly has that hurt from the past to be set free from…

  49. I have been through betrayel of being unfaithful similar to yours Lysa but it didn't work out in a positive way for me because they decided to leave but I have learned through those hard times of being abandoned in those past relationships that God wants so much more for me. I also know that those broken relationships we're not in his plan for me and it was him protecting me from what I thought i wanted . Now I know I deserve so much more and I am not settling for second best anymore but only God's best for me๐Ÿ’œ

  50. I have always liked Lysa from afar although I never read a book of hers or attended a conference. This is a hard subject and I'm so proud of her for going into the Word and to God to seek Him for His desires for her life. Such a testimony. Praying for the restoration of her heart (just because time passes doesn't mean our scars are mended perfectly). <3

  51. Lisa, thank you so much. The Lord has been putting all the right stuff across my path to heal – and it started with my bitterness to wards God because of disappointment. Thank you so much Lisa for being willing to tell your story even before you could do it without tears. Thank you so much. You do it for those of us who also are and will be suffering disappointment.

  52. Why does this happen to us Lord?11yrs by his side, 9yrs of marriage, 6months separation. Today just confirmed he's met someone else. Why Lord? Please pray for me and my marriage as I know this isn't the will of God. I reject divorce and declare the enemy defeated in Jesus name. My marriage will be healed and restored. What God has joined together let no man put asunder!!!!

  53. I have been through so much and have seen God do mighty things. I am So thankful for her and this program, I really needed it.

  54. I do not intend to be rude … but… I am very confused here. Why is this woman being so praised because her husband did what they all do?? Sorry but this is the OLDEST story in the book. This woman isn't doing or experiencing anything new. At ALL. I know many women who have been down the very same road. Including myself. Men cheat. It is actually normal because it happens SO OFTEN. Our society not only condones it, but teaches it. People just need to accept that this is what happens and actually expect it. If you think your husband isn't… you're blind. I honestly don't know a single man who has not cheated on his wife. I've been cheated on, had two of my brothers die long before their time as well as my son die. This is life. It is why we are here. To live through what shows up, get through it and grow through it.

    If you feel something isn't right… it isn't.

  55. Thank you Lysa for sharing. This Part 1 and Part 2 talk has help redirect me to the Lord and what He is doing in my life.

  56. If my wife was having an affair, I would have busted out laughing.ย ย  No, a spouse having an affair is NOT the worst pain ever:ย  it's havingย three of your kids die… before 1 y. o..

  57. God hates divorce but he hates pride too. Sometimes divorce may b neccessary or separation or church discipline. Always counseling but I have very little belief in counseling. Counseling has been a failure in my life. Several counselors and a bunch of nothing

  58. Anyone else have tears rolling down after watching this? Or is it just me?? Does anyone have suggestions for dealing with delusions of infidelity, rather than actual infidelity??

  59. Smartness is important in a relationship and cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my husbandโ€™s phone and I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his phone. All I did was share my husbandโ€™s phone number with cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from my phone without having to touch his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist and Iโ€™m glad to find out all his secrets and infidelity with the help of cyberhackinggenius. Iโ€™m here in UK and able to access my husbandโ€™s phone messages with a link on my phone even while he was away in Canada cheating on me. I got to discover that my husband who is legallyย  married to me here in UK is also recently married to another woman in Canada and Iโ€™m finally going through a divorce with lots of evidence against him. I read all his Whatsapp, Facebook,Skype,Instagram and Snapchat messages Including the deleted text and recent messages. You can contact this great Hacker Gavin via Gmailย  (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +19256795146 and donโ€™t forget to thank me later.

  60. ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญโคโคโค Thank you Lysa, thank you Focus on the Family โค I think everyone can relate to disappointment and deep pain ๐Ÿ˜ญ

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