[ intro music ]
(Captions by: Cecilia) True Tea: your questions, my brutal honesty. Hey guys, it’s Kat and it’s time for your weekly dose of True Tea. And I’m still drinking Moroccan Majesty from CamilleLaLune’s Etsy shop. If you guys have an Etsy shop, send me some things! I love things in my P.O. box! Um, if you guys, um, want me to answer your questions, send me your question to [email protected] And if you’re not already subscribed, please feel free to do so, so you can get True Tea every single week in your subscription box. Anyway, let’s jump right into today’s question: “Hey Kat, I’m a pansexual, nonbinary person who does a lot of social justice work around gender, sexuality and race. I was raised secular and that allowed me to have an appreciation for many religious ideas. However, today, I’m an orthodox Christian and I find that most of queer identified friends are now suspicious of me because of my religion. I, of course, understand that historically, my church and many churches have done terrible things, but it’s exhausting to constantly deconstruct everyone’s idea about Christianity that don’t reflect mine. I go to a very pro-trans church, that in general, isn’t very judgmental. My question is, do you have Christian friends, and do they show support for you and help you feel safe? If not, what would they have to do to be your friend?” So I’m an atheist, um, but I was raised extremely Christian. I mean I went to a Christian private school, I was really involved in the church, I worked with children of the church up until almost college. So you know, religion was a big part of my life, um, and I do have an appreciation for religion. I love, you know, cr– different religion. I mean, girl, Revolution is my– is my tea. You know what I mean? I love Revelations like, you know… And so I have an appreciation for Christianity now, even as an atheist. And I do like religions from all around the world. Um, but my big thing for anyone is– I just don’t like when people try to force their religion on me. Now I live in an area now where, um, you know I’m dealing with like more religious proselytizing than I’ve ever dealt with ever before. You know, I’ve– I’ve– I grew up in the suburbs, and where I lived, um, we didn’t have people like knocking on our doors, you know wanting us to get the good word, and things like that. And I’ve been dealing with that a lot out here, and it’s something that is really new to me. Um, there was one morning where I woke up, and there was someone knocking on the door– I live in– I live in a gated, um, apartment complex. Um… And, um, someone knocked on my door, and I walked up to see who it was. And as I was walking up to the door, they pushed through a religious pamphlet, you know, basically talking about, you know, how sinful we must be if, you know, dadadadada, blah blah blah blah… It wasn’t like they targeted me, they did it to everyone. But I was really shocked by it ’cause it was like… oh wow. Like you’re forcing this into our house. You know? It’s not like we can just not answer the door. You actually are forcing it through and into the house. That felt like a violation to me, and I know that a lot of people are used to it. But it was– it’s new to me. So let me– let me be scandalized, okay? Let me be scandalized, alright? Um… [ sighing ] When it comes to my friendships, I don’t mind having friends who are Christian. I think I probably have friends who are Christian, but we just don’t talk about it. You know what I mean? Um, for me, I look at religion as this thing that should be protected, that is good for some people, and not good for other people. I’m not one of these atheists who believe that religion should be deconstructed, and we should take away people’s rights, dadadada… I just– I don’t believe in that. I think that religion is great for some people. And I think that, you know, if that’s what helps you cope with the world, then good for you! That’s how I feel. Which maybe sounds condescending, but girl, that’s how I feel. Take it! [ laughing ]
So yeah, I mean… I will say that sometimes I do have that– that little thing in the back of my mind. Because, you know, my exposure to religion a lot was, of course, my family. You know? My dad has like finally come around and accepted the whole trans thing. Right? But the religious thing is like his line, right? And it’s just– I don’t know? Like I just find that so silly. You know? My dad even like has conversations with me on the phone where he’s like “You know, I know that there are people who are trans who run churches. And there’s these gay churches. And…”
[ mumbling ] You know? And it’s just like, it’s not… it’s not like I’m an atheist because I’m trans. And because this is something that like– you know, and I need like some excuse, this world view that helps me cope– No! I’m an atheist for so many other reasons, right? But my thing is this: I’m not gonna yell at my dad and tell him to let go of his, you know, imaginary fantasy land. Um… Even if I feel like that’s how I feel. I’m not gonna yell at him because it’s good for him. I– I– It helps him, he’s happy with it, good for him, whatever, whatever! But it sucks to me that he is struggling to have a relationship with me because of his religion. So sometimes, I always question… If I have a Christian friend, and I know that they’re Christian, I always think about, you know, if they’re like one day hoping that I’m just gonna c– I’m gonna have the “come to Jesus” moment. ‘Cause I’m just not, you know? My thing is this: I’ve always said to myself about religion, like if I, um… If I ever do become religious, it’s gonna be something that I come to. Listen, like I said, I went to private Christian school. I recorded a Christian album as a child, okay? I never had the choice to understand, um, you know, that there was more in this world but Christianity. You know? I was essentially indoctrinated, and I don’t think that that’s right. You know? I don’t think that that’s right. Um, I think, you know, it’s nice to be someone who is raised in a non-religious a– neighbor– neighbor. Non-religious environment, who eventually grow and withdrawn to orthodox Christianity. I think that’s great, right? I think that’s how people should be doing it, right? Of course, easier said than done. And I’m not mad at my parents for– for raising me Christian because, you know, it’s what made sense to them. You know? They were doing what they thought was right. And I’m not mad at them for it. But I’ve had to realize as an adult that I never had a choice. And maybe there’s a religion out there that makes sense to me, that I find is truthful. Um, and maybe one day I’ll gravitate towards it. But for now, that’s not where I’m at, right? But, um, you know, in terms of my friendships, I don’t care if you’re a Christian. I don’t. I think that if that’s something that helps you and makes you happy, then good for you! More support to you! Just don’t expect me to come over to your church. You know? Just don’t expect for me to do any of that– unless girl! Unless y’all doing some… I– If y’all cookin’. If y’all do some barbecue, you know? Girl! Girl call me! I’ll have some barbecue. Just don’t– just don’t read to me. But I will take your food. I will take those greens. I will take that cornbread. Girl, I’ll take those grits with sugar on them! Girl, don’t come for me! Um, you now what I mean? I’ll take all that! But please, don’t give me the word, okay? Anyway, that’s how I feel. You know, I have no problems being friends with Christians. You know, it’s– it’s whatever. I just– I like positive people. And when people offer pr– prayers for me, I’m always thankful. I have a friend who’s a witch for the love of god. Ironic.
[ blabbering ] I have a friend who’s a witch for the love of god. And they’re like always lighting altars for me and things like that. I’m like “You know what? Whatever!” It’s– I’m all about positive energy. There’s one like belief I have: it’s that you put positive energy in the world and you receive it back. So… Someone wants to pray for me, light an altar, do whatever they do; I’m very thankful for it. And I’m not gonna be like… I’m not gonna be one of those people who’s like “No! Don’t pray for me! I don’t believe in the sky daddy!” I don’t– no. I’m not one of those atheists. So yeah, that’s how I feel. Hopefully, I answered your question. Anyway, if you guys want my True Tea, please send me a short unlisted video or e-mail to [email protected] If you guys want this mug, you can get this mug and so much more at my society6 store. I’m again drinking CamilleLaLune tea. Moroccan Majesty. Moroccan Majesty. CamilleLaLune tea. Girl look at that! [ laughing ] Anyway, I’ll talk to you guys later! On that note, always remember and never forget that you are beautiful and you are loved. Bye! If you like this video, you can support my work by becoming a monthly Patreon patron. “Dear Kat, first I wanted to say that I’m white, I’m very aware of my privilege, and I in no way think that the way people of color are treated, especially in America, is okay. I also wanted to make it clear that I do not feel like I am being oppressed or treated wrong in society in any way–” [ outro instrumental ]